[content note: this post covers my personal experiences with domestic abuse in some detail]
“Why don’t they just leave?”
“If someone did that to me I’d be out of there straight away!”
“If they were really being abused they’d run at the first chance!”
I’ve had all of these statements thrown at me, and I’ve heard them applied to others living with domestic abuse. Aside from being generally unhelpful and blaming the victim for the abuse they are receiving, they are also based on a central faulty premise; that leaving domestic abuse is easy. For many of us that live(d) with it, it is actually exactly the opposite.
To start with we have to remember a few things about domestic abuse;
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